


The Right Time

by LeeRose



Series: Similarities [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abuse, College, Depression, F/F, F/M, Groundhogs Day, Humanstuck, M/M, Romance, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Time - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-07-25 14:49:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7536994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeeRose/pseuds/LeeRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You step outside to find your sweater clad neighbor once again screaming at the scene at the bottom of the staircase </p><p>"Shit."</p><p>Your name is Dave Strider and you're stuck living the same day over and over again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day 1/Dead Birds and Angry Guys

Your name is Dave Strider and you awake precisely three minutes before a bird decides to smash it's stupid feathered body into your bedroom window.

You jump at the sound of bird colliding with glass, turning to watch as it slowly slides down the window, not able to tell if the look in it's eye is the sign of lifelessness or cold bird calculation.

"Another one to add to the collection I guess."

You roll out of bed and turn on your dim bedside lamp. Your eyes slowly acclimate to the illumination, the sun not yet high enough to reach your room.

You used to have a set of turntables on which you mixed music. Only now sits a desktop and a homemade recording booth made out of plywood.

You still have a shelf full of preserved dead animals though. You could never get rid of all the still and silent reminders of mortality. It's important to you to reflect on the existential experience that is existence.

That's enough of serious introspection for today though.

You stand to put on your signature outfit, black skinny jeans, white T-shirt and aviator shades.

It's currently 6 in the morning. Pretty early for you usually, but your first class, Archeology, starts at 7:30.

Walking out of your room into the shit kitchen of your shit Seattle apartment, you poor yourself a cup of shitty coffee. Everything is pretty shitty here. Coffee will make it better.

You make your rounds on the internet while ingesting liquid anxiety/laxative, checking buisness emails, bandcamp for any new hip-hop releases, Twitter to see if anything happened because fuck watching or reading the news, you don't particularly feel like being subjected to fear mongering, and...

Hovering over the Buzzfeed bookmark, you debate if you have enough time to loose yourself in a couple quizzes.

No. There's never enough time for that.

Half a cup down and you remember to finally have your morning cigarette. Remembering in the form of the intense pull of craving. At first you did it because you thought it made you look cool, but now it's become an actual addiction you can't break.

The lengths you used to go to be cool.

Ash cascades it's way down into the crooks of your keyboard keys and you blow it out before you forget and eventually find yourself having a malfunctioning keyboard. The thing is pretty jank already, being a ten dollar piece of trash from Circut City pre-bankruptcy, it doesn't need anymore reason to find a home in your trash can.

Why do you still have this thing?

Old habits die hard you suppose.

Slipping on your roulette colored Vans and black bomber jacket, you step outside of your apartment complex to begin your drive to the institution of forced fee higher education

You check your phone to find it at 50% battery power. You constantly forget that the outlet next to your bed is faulty, often finding yourself having half battery power or less.

Thank Christ for car chargers.

You step down the stairs into the parking lot in front of the complex, only to stop as you hear someone very loudly scream.

Looking up, you see a guy in a distinctly black sweater that is too big for him that you haven't seen before looking down at a mess of books, a laptop case and spilt coffee laying at the bottom of the opposite set of apartment's staircase.

He looks pissed. 

Pissed enough to make Birdman think twice about maybe pulling up on him.

You watch as he stomps down the stairs, seething with anger as he begins to slam his books together and grab his laptop case before picking up his now empty coffee thermos and tossing it into a car.

Who the fuck drinks from a thermos these days?

You notice you've been staring at this angry, black sweater man for too long as he regards you with a snear and a defiant middle finger before getting into his grey bug and driving off at a ridiculous and reckless speed out of the complex.

Huh.

You shrug off the rude demeanor and climb into your red 2005 Ford Explorer.  
Going through your CD collection, you find Ghostface Killah's Fishscale, the perfect morning music on an early September day.

After bumping your head for about 20 minutes straight and smoking another cigarette, you park your car into your usual spot and get out, ripping the cigarette from your lips and stomping it out on the ground, creating a mess of loose tobacco and a now yellowed butt.

Someone claps you on the back and you're immediately poised to punch someone's teeth out, but stop yourself before you fuck up your best friend John Egberts teeth anymore than they already are.

"Hey Dave! How's your morning?" He asks, big toothy grin and all.

You shrug, pushing his hand off of your shoulder. "Fine, I guess. Saw a new guy at my complex."

You and John begin to walk up to the school lobby, John accommodating your arrival each day by following you into the school as he lives in the dorms.

His family is well off enough to pay for dorm stay, while yours...

Well. It may be a shitty apartment, but it's yours. So. You can't really complain. Too much.

"Did you talk to him?" John asks, cheery as ever.

How the fuck can he be so bright this early?

"Nope. He dropped all of his shit and then gave me the finger and peeled off doing eighty out of the lot." You say straight-laced as you push the entrance open.

John merely hums in response as you shuffle down the lobby hall and into the campus proper. Stopping by the school store, you grab a Vitamin water out of the fridge and pay for it, John eyeing you all the way.

"Why do you drink that stuff? It tastes like feet." John questions as he scrunches his face in disgust.

"Because 50." You say with absolutely zero emotion.

"50?"

"Cent."

John stares at you for a solid 20 seconds before bursting into laughter.

"That's so lame, Dave."

You smirk to yourself as you walk to the Social Studies building, remarking that its a particularly sunny day for Seattle. Almost no clouds.

You give John a good Houstan dap before heading inside. Quickly finding the room, you sit down and see your new found acquaintance, Aradia Megido, smiling brightly and almost creepily at you.

"Sup, Aradia."

"Hey Dave!" She says with a little wave of her pale, skelton like fingers.

You regard her outfit. Black skirt going down to her thighs and a red zip up sweatshirt with black dress shoes, curly and unruly hair falling in bunches down her back and shoulders.

Strange combination, as always.

You snap out of your thoughts as the professor enters the room and begins the lecture.

\-----------------------------------------------

It's High Noon and you're already tired. U.S. History left you tired mentally, while Music, your favorite class, saps you of any and all enjoyment for the rest of the day. Especially seeing as your last class of the day is Pre-Calculus.

It's not that you're bad at math. Infact, you're probably the most skilled in the art of numerics in your class, a real Math Magician.

It's just not interesting. Too many things bore you until you feel like slamming your head into a wall. You used to have a lot of hobbies, when you lived back in Texas, but now that you're in College you've grown out of a lot of them.

You still get rabid Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff fans finding your new contact information and either pleading with you or threatening you to start updating the comic.

You just don't find it particularly fulfilling anymore is all.

You ponder on your poor past desicions as you stare at your half eaten pizza.

Yet again you're snapped from your thoughts from the sound of a door opening and closing, the ring of a bell atop the pizzaria's entrance.

You look up to see your sister Rose Lalonde waltz over to your outside table and set down a hefty ceasar salad and water on the table before swiftly and gracefully sitting across from you.

"Questioning your past 20 years of existence again, Dave?" Rose asks without looking at you.

Forget eating, snark for lunch it is then.

"Nah, I'm thinking about asking how you retain that figure, considering how outside of that salad, you routinely drink each night and gorge yourself with about 6 Nacho Cheese Doritos tacos. Without me."

Rose just snorts in response, silently tossing her salad for a couple moments of silence. Maybe she's decided to not fuck with you today.

"Your apple juice is still unopened, which is somewhat of a personal felony to consider as you drink it as a primary source of sustenance. You mean to tell me that you're that enraptured by my blood related to you yet albeit beautiful figure?"

Maybe not.

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever."

Rose stops tossing her salad and...is that incestious? Whatever. She stops mixing the meat, veggie and heavily ranched out combo to glare daggers at you. She taps the table three times.

"Honestly, Dave," The black lipsticked woman sighs, setting down her fork to begin drilling you.

"Honestly, Rose," You say, mocking her tone.

Her glare intensifies and you decide to stuff your pizza into your mouth while opening your Apple Juice to escape the tension.

Rose stares a second longer and seemingly gives up.

You both eat in silence the rest of lunch before you have to leave for your next class, flash stepping your way away from the table when Rose is throwing out her trash, making it back to campus in record time. 

Just enough to enjoy a post-lunch cigarette and check Twitter.

It seems like you have some new fans following you.

\-----------------------------------------------

Pre-Calc is as boringly easy as ever.

You're solving daily problems like the wiz kid you are when the door slams open and in stomps in an out of breath short, short and angry guy. The guy from this morning.

The professor in all of his nerdy meekness is visibly startled, but quickly regains his composure and clears his throat to claim attention of the short man.

"You must be Karkat." The professor states.

So that's his name.

The angry guy nods at the professor.

"Take any seat, I'll be with you in a minute." The professor states.

Karkat looks to the room and notices his sudden entrance as everyone is staring at him and has an ashamed look for a fraction of a second before settling back into his seemingly permanent scowl. He quickly shuffles up the stairs and into the seat behind you.

You should've guessed he would be attending the same college as you by his books and laptop, but whatever. You continue to work on your problems, finishing the assignment before the rest of the class and putting the paper down onto the professor's desk, nodding to him up at Karkat's desk briefly before walking out of the room.

You climb into your car, lighting up a cigarette before pulling out and heading home.

Clouds have begun to appear and show signs of a coming storm, and as you reach the complex, it's already beginning to pour heavily.

You spend the rest of the day searching the Internet for new beats to use and recording songs.

At 3, you take a break to look out your bedroom window to see Karkat running up the stairs to what you assume is his apartment, completely drenched and very obviously spitting with anger as he curses to get his keys into the door before entering and slamming the door loudly enough that you hear it from your room.

The day winds down and your realize you never collected the bird that hit your window that morning. It's probably not worth collecting and preserving at this point you decide.

Wasting your time with buzzfeed quizzes for about 3 hours, you turn off the computer monitor, settling into bed.

You drift off into sleep.

\-----------------------------------------------

Opening your eyes, you see a large purple and gold-yellow grandfather clock tick back and forth for a few moments before chiming out 12 loud bell tones.

You awake and jolt from your bed in a cold sweat. You wipe your forehead, shaken up by the nightmare and slowly pull out a cigarette from the pack sitting on your bedside table.

You light up and immediately drop the cigarette from your mouth as a slam sounding from your window scares you.

Whipping around in an instant, you find a bird plastered to the glass, slowly sliding down. Dead.

You stand still for a few moments before feeling the intensive pain of heat on your big toe, realizing the cigarette had landed next to it and began to burn the skin.

You pick up the cigarette and hesitantly sidle over to the window to inspect the bird. You stare into it's eye, then it falls off of the window and onto the ground.

"What the fuck?"

What're the odds? You wonder as you brew a cup of coffee, taking a steady drag from your short before ashing it in the sink, throwing the butt into the trash.

You do your daily rounds on the Internet and...nothing has updated.

"Is the wifi busted?" You say to yourself as you pull out the router and inspect it. You find that it's working just fine.

Tapping your index finger on the desk, you shake your head and get dressed. Ready to leave the strange things happening around you in your apartment.

You step outside to find your sweater clad neighbor once again screaming at the scene at the bottom of the staircase.

"Shit."

Your name is Dave Strider and you realize you're living the same day as yesterday


	2. Day 2/"The Irony Is Not Lost On Me."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's this movie where Bill Murray is stuck living the same day over and over again until he is able to do the right amount of things in the day."
> 
> You stare at John intently, pondering the information.
> 
> "It's ironic." He says after a moment of silence.
> 
> "The irony is not lost on me, John."

Your name is Dave Strider and you're freaking the fuck out.

How the hell is this possible? Scientifically, it's bullshit.

Though, you suppose, time isn't exactly as linear as humans perceive it. It does exist in a more chaotic sense, seeing as time can be measured by way of decay and rebirth and not by ticks of a clock.

But that still doesn't explain why. Did you stumble through a man sized worm hole? Did you accidentally step on and kill the Time Ant? Is there such a thing as the Time Ant?

There's a lot of possibilities, but nothing concrete.

You're freaking the fuck out in the parking lot of your college, smoking your second cigarette in a row and barely resisting the shakes traveling your entire body.

Someone claps your back and you pause, thinking back. Is it John?

"Hey Dave!" It's John.

"How's your morning?"

You turn your head to look at him, cigarette barely balancing on your lips.

"It's huh, good. Yeah. Great."

You don't bother with small talk, seeing John's face screw up with confusion and concern for a split second before you start speed walking towards the lobby, taking the cigarette and flicking it away.

John catches up and it's clear he caught on to your dismissive response.

"Is something wrong, Dave?"

Would he understand? This is your best friend, John Egbert, the man who had barely a single mean bone in his body. Maybe he would take it seriously?

Fuck it.

"John, I think I'm living yesterday again."

John looks at you and raises his eyebrow in a quizzical expression.

"How can you be living yesterday if it's today?"

"Because today is yesterday."

"No it isn't. Yesterday, I distinctly remember me and Vriska stayed inside all day watching Nic Cage movies and making out."

"Of course you did. No John, I mean..."

Wait.

Hold on.

There's a better way to explain this.

"I lived today already. This morning, a bird commuted suicide via my bedroom window, and then I left the apartment to see a new guy at the apartment screaming at his books. And then you came up to me in the parking lot and said 'Hey Dave! How's your morning?' And I told you about Karkat."

John squints at you, like you have three heads. You seriously regret telling him about this dilemma.

Maybe it's all a dream and you'll wake up and escape the fact that you probably sound insane.

"So...it's Groundhogs Day?"

Now you stare at John, wondering if he's insane.

"No it isn't. It's September, John, the groundhog doesn't come out to piss itself over it's shadow yet."

"No, Dave , it's a movie. With Bill Murray."

Of course. Of course you're living a scenario of which is the premise to one of John's shitty movies. Why the fuck anything else?

An intense silence brews as your internal screams intensify.

"It's this movie where Bill Murray is stuck living the same day over and over again until he is able to do the right amount of things in the day."

You stare at John intently, pondering the information.

"It's ironic." He says after a moment of silence.

"The irony is not lost on me, John."

"Have you seen the movie?"

"No. After you made me watch Shia in Transformers, I've since been avoiding watching movies with you because they are god awful. Even in an ironic sense, they're all stupid."

"Well, first off, fuck you, Shia is a genius, he just didn't mature into it yet. Second, if you're really living in a Groundhogs Day scenario, I bet you'd benefit from watching it."

It's sound advice. It probably wouldn't hurt to watch.

Maybe this is just a fluke? Maybe God just realized he forgot to make you a Bill Murray fan and this is his way into giving you a reason to start to get into his filmography.

Probably not.

\-----------------------------------------------

"It's a fucking rom-com, John, how the fuck does this help me?"

You finished watching the admittedly kinda funny movie, a fact of which you won't admit to John, and called him to hash out the details of how none of this shit applies to you.

"It's not Groundhogs Day so there's no weird mystical time animal controlling my perception of time. There's no one in my life to which I can romance. This doesn't really help, John."

There's silence for a few moments, and then a lone sniffle.

"John?" You don't bother masking your concern. The sniffle was wet enough to tell he's either been crying or sleeping in a bed made out of pollen. And it's not spring so there's no way he has allergies, and you just saw him earlier today and he was as fit as ever.

"You alright?"

"It's not the best time, Dave." John's voice sounds out, hoarse and sorrow filled.

"What happened?"

"I think me and Vriska just broke up."

Ohhhhhhhh...shiiiiit.

"Fuck."

"Yeah."

"What...uh...happened?"

"Well, she asked me if I ever saw Peter Pan. To which I said of course. And then I said Hook is a way more superior movie. And then we got into an argument about the movies, and then it got a little serious. She started to insult my intelligence, saying that because I watch so many bad movies that it must mean I'm an idiot. And I got angry. She insulted my taste in movies and my intelligence. So...I kind of called her a bitch..."

"What? John, never have I thought for a second would you call another woman a bitch, let alone your own girlfriend."

"I know, I know, I was just really angry with her because lately she's been talking to her ex again..."

"That guy in the wheelchair? What's his name, Tevro?"

"Tavros. And he got prosthetic legs. I have no idea why she's talking to him again. I think she might be cheating on me."

"You don't trust her?"

"No! I do! It's just that...I know Tavros, and I know he can't really resist someone like Vriska, and he might start falling for her again."

Silence hangs over the the conversation. In the distance you hear cursing and then the slam of a door. Karkat's home.

"Well, let's talk about your situation, Dave. Let's think about the variables."

"Okay."

"Tell me about what happened during yesterday today."

You take a deep breath, reaching for a cigarette and lighting it.

"Well. The bird died. Then I met Karkat. But I didn't know his name until Pre-Calc when he bursted into the room and the professor said it. In the morning we met up, I got a vitamin water and made a joke about 50 Cent. Then I did my classes, had lunch with Rose and then math, went home, made some new songs which are now non-existent, so that's cool. Went to bed and then..."

The nightmare.

Something clicks into place. The grandfather clock and 12 loud bells.

"Then I had a nightmare about a grandfather clock."

"A clock?" John asks, slight ruffling in the background. He must be wallowing in bed.

"Yeah. It ticked for a couple seconds and then 12 loud bells rung out."

John was silent for a few moments.

"Okay. Well. Let's see. In the movie, Bill Murray has to do the correct sequence of things to escape the time loop. So, theoretically, that's probably what you have to do. So maybe start doing some things differently."

"Like what? Leave the city?"

"Not that, I don't think that'd work. Start with the bird. Maybe check on it to see if it's really dead, maybe you have to save it."

You purse your lips, smoke escaping from your nostrils.

"I think it'd make more sense if I were to preserve the bird for my collection."

"Or that, yeah. So, start with that and then go from there."

"Yeah, that makes sense."

A silence grows and you struggle for something to say.

"Oh, and John?...sorry. About Vriska."

John doesn't say anything for a moment.

"Yeah. Thanks."

"Alright. Talk to you later?"

"Yeah. Later."

Ending the call, you stand up and walk towards the window, looking at the rainfall. Maybe it's time you go get the bird? Maybe shit'll change.

Putting on your shoes to escape the gross feeling of wet socks, your clamber down the steps and search the bushes for a sign of the bird. Pushing aside some crab grass, you find it, laying on the ground, soaking wet and dead.

"Fuck. I didn't get gloves."

You're broken from your momentary mental face palm by the sound of a door opening and slamming shut. Turning around you see a short guy in a black hoodie walking down the stairs.

He looks to you and you see the puffy and crying face of a lone Karkat. His face is screwed with anger, and as he looks to you, he sniffles, stopping his tracks.

"What the fuck are you looking at, assmunch?" He screams at you from across the lot.

You raise your eyebrow, confused.

What do you say? Me? Oh, I'm just looking at a dead bird and thinking about preserving it because I'm stuck in a Bill Murray Time Loop.

You instead opt for small talk.

"Why where you late to Pre-Calc?" You ask, yelling into the wind and rain.

Karkat looks so angry he's about to spit. He shakes his head before answering.

"I'm new here."

You nod your head. Makes sense. You take one last long drag of your cigarette before dropping it and stomping the cherry out.

You look up to see Karkat walking away. You didn't notice him leave yesterday. Wonder where he's going.

After collecting the bird in a sanitary manner and shoving it into a jar full of preservatives, you undress and get into bed.

You fall asleep, and then open your eyes to see the grandfather clock ticking away.

You try to move but can't. You try to open your mouth and ask if anybody is there, but you can't.

Then the loud crash of bells rings out.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Six.

Seven.

Eight.

Nine.

Ten.

Eleven.

...

Eleven? Where's the last one?

Did I do something right? You wonder. Is the bird the first step of the sequence?

You wake up and stare at the ceiling.

Wait.

Yep. There's the bird.

Well. Time to start the sequence.

Your name is Dave Strider and this is going to be a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe that over the course of like 10 hours I got 12 kudos, 56 hits and 3 comments. That's fuckin insane to me.
> 
> Thanks for reading.


	3. Day 4 & 5/Spilt Whisky, Spilt Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I mean...creative writing is cool and all. What do you write?"
> 
> Karkat began to get all flustered once you asked that question.
> 
> "Gay fanfiction?"

Your name is Dave Strider and you are at a lost of what to do.

You spent the entire 3rd day doing random things around the city, helping old ladies, soothing crying children, going to local rap battles and laying sick ass rhymes.

Nothing worked. And you knew each day, John's heart would be broken. And each day Karkat would have something happen to him and storm out of his house sad and hurt by something.

You awake on the 4th day, already exhausted by the asinine bullshit time loop you're in.

At least the first step of the sequence is already figured out. Dead bird. Collected.

You step out of the apartment, not bothering to check the Internet a third time in a row when you hear a door open from across the lot. Out steps a fumbling Karkat, trying to juggle his phone, books, laptop case and coffee.

You approach, starting to see him near the stair case.

Maybe...

You don't have much time to think as Karkat looses his grip on everything in his hands. Reflexively, you flash step up the stairs and snatch everything before it hits the first step down, balancing the coffee on the books in one hand and the laptop swinging in the other.

Damn you look cool.

Like, a really collegiate badass.

Karkat stares at you, mouth agape in awe.

"How the fuck did you do that?" He asks, taking everything away from you.

You shrug and sniff.

"Just really fit I guess." Yeah, totally leave out your childhood. Wouldn't want to horrify the kid the first time talking to him...second time.

Whatever.

Karkat narrows his eyes at you but nods anyway, accepting your answer.

"Well, if you could please get out of the way, I have to get to class." He says, inching past you on the stairway.

"Do you go to the college here?" You ask.

"What? Yeah. I do." He answers non-committaly as he shoves his stuff into his grey Bug.

"What classes do you take?"

Karkat huffs in annoyance and looks at you, squinting angrily at your person.

You didn't even know you could squint angrily.

"Sociology, Film, Pre-Calc and Creative Writing."

You nod your head and purse your lips, knowing already he had a class with you.

"I mean...creative writing is cool and all. What do you write?"

Karkat began to get all flustered once you asked that question.

"Gay fanfiction?"

Nice Dave, piss off the guy you just met.

Karkat's entire face went crimson red as you suggested he write gay fanfiction.

In all honesty, you were probably right.

"SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH, DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS SO LUDICROUS AND RUDE WHEN YOU FIRST MEET A PERSON, YOU PETULANT PILE OF HUMAN EXCRIMENT."

Wow.

Okay dude.

"Wow. Okay dude. Calm down. It was a simple joke." You say, raising your hands in surrender.

Karkat doesn't calm down though, flipping you the mightiest and angriest of middle fingers, opening his car door, climbing in and slamming the door behind him, speeding off out of the parking lot.

"Good going, Dave." You sigh. "Piss off the new neighbor, and no less, one of your new classmates...wait...why do I give a shit? He won't even remember this tomorrow."

Okay. Cool. You can theoretically do whatever you want in this one day. Why didn't you realize this before?

You see Karkat later that day in Pre-Calc, very obviously pissed off at you, your classmates, the professer, the entire school, world, universe and multiverses. You briefly wonder how it would feel to have such raw anger inside of you instead of raw coolness.

Nah. You're 21 years old now. Coolness doesn't really matter to you anymore. You still do cool things, but that's mostly because people expect you to.

Shades doesn't automatically equal cool, you wear these because of light sensitivity, and because of your eyes. Obviously. Red eyes are uncommon, but it's been years since those kids in elementary school called you demon and evil and shit. You've warmed up to your eyes, and the people closest to you know about them.

It's just hard to let go of old complexes and habits. Seeing the shocked and gasping faces of people in the presence of your eyes gets annoying quick.

In anycase, you go home and don't do much. Time being looped to one day makes it so there's no point in doing anything productive other than trying to break the loop, and there's not much you can think of.

You go to sleep and the clock chimes 10 times.

\-----------------------------------------------

So...Karkat. He's the next step in the sequence.

Why is the morning filled with two points on the loop? This leaves you almost no time to do much before class starts, between collecting the bird and helping and subsequently having a conversation with Karkat.

Karkat is interesting to you. He's really easily set off but...you kinda like him. It's certainly funny seeing him get all flustered and angry.

You don't really do much different this day. You're gonna take a break. Solving the universe's time puzzle is confusing and tiring.

You decide to go to the bar and drink to let off the stress for the night. You won't even have a hangover tomorrow/today, right? Yeah. You'll wake up and be normal sober Dave on that morning.

You get fairly drunk, talking to the people all around the bar, wondering about their lives in your very drunken state.

You come to a booth with two dudes in it, a blonde with red and blue glasses and spiky hair, and an extremely feminine hipster with purple hair, a scarf and rings seemingly having an argument.

You approach, eaves dropping.

"Goddamnit, Dan, you know I hate barth. Thethe platheth are tho goddamn loud, it maketh my migraineth worthe." The blonde said. That's an extreme lisp.

"Sol, you need to get out more. All you do is sit inside and code and play video games. And eat! Eat more for God's sake, you're like a fuckin' twig. Order off the menu, I heard this place has really nice cheesesteaks." The feminine, British hipster said. He really does seem like a girl, going one minute from nagging his (boy?)friend and the next giving him a warm smile and soft eyes.

"Nah," you say, approaching the men. "The steaks are ass, don't eat it, get the...uh..." You trail off, leaning into the booth to look at the Sol guy's menu.

Both the men shirk away from you and give you a rude look.

You're just trying to help.

"Dan, get the salad. Sol, get the ribs."

Sol pulls the menu away from your prying eyes.

"My name'th Sollux, and hith ith Eridan."  
He retorts, practically spitting on your face in the process.

"Okay, okay, just being friendly."

"I don't even like ribth." He mumbles, turning to the menu.

"Yeah but the sauce has like, honey in it or something, but the fact is that they're pretty fuckin bangin."

The blonde snaps his head up at you, facial expression akin to a child who was just promised some candy.

He nods. Cool. You helped somebody.

"Well, I like salad, so, thanks Mr...?" The British hipster trailed off.

"Dave. Strider." Wow, you remembered your name while drunk this time. That's usually not very easy for you.

Eridan nods to you and you limply throw your head up and down, beer escaping from your bottle as your entire body moves violently.

Okay, well, time to leave. You're starting to look like an idiot.

You leave the bar, shivering as you pull your coat tighter around you, taking out a cigarette and lighting it in your cupped hands, smoke trailing behind you.

You start rapping the lyrics to Mick Jenkin's song Jerome acapella style. One of the many songs you wish you created.

Maybe you can make a song or an album about all this time shit once you figure it all out and break free.

You decided to take the long way home, the storm generating thunder and electric static above your head.

Above you spans a highway, the overpass illuminating for a flash as the Lightning crashes somewhere near by.

You could've sworn you saw a figure standing on the partition. You stop, almost falling over to look up, squinting to see a dark outline of a person.

The outline starts falling towards you.

"Oh SHIT." You yell as the figure collides with you, brining you both down.

"Fuck..." You groan. Good thing you're drunk or that would've hurt.

You push the figure off of you, and it flails as it falls to the ground, grunting as it's back hits the ground. You look at the figure as another flash of lighting surrounds you.

"Karkat?"

Did he just try to kill himself? He looks up at you, sleepily.

"You okay dude?" You ask, sitting up to get a better look at him.

He slumps back onto the side walk, burying his face into his hands.

He must really be in a bad way then.

Karkat stands and walks away, tears streaming down his face.

You stand and follow him. He notices and turns around to face you.

"Why're you fucking following me?" He asks, voice hoarse.

"Did you just try to kill yourself man?"

He turns his head away from you. 

A silence brews over the two of you.

You decide to break it.

"Well...sorry for botching your plans but...why?"

Karkat looks back up at you, confused.

"Why do you care? You don't even know me."

You tilt your head. "Well, you're right, I just met you but I don't really sit well with the fact of someone trying to commit suicide. Even if I don't know someone's name, I'd still not be okay with it. And just because I know your name because we're in the same class doesn't mean I don't know your name."

Shit, you're rambling again. Curse the alcohol running through your veins.

Karkat looks at you, bewildered. Then shakes his head.

"Well, if you must know, my life's not great. Obviously. Infact, it's pretty shit. So. There you go." he says, turning away from you.

He begins to walk away, but you catch up in a second. He looks at you with a scowl but doesn't say anything. You both walk to the apartment complex in silence.

You watch as he walks up the stairs, head hung, and walks into his apartment.

So...every night he was leaving to go kill himself?

Shit.

Well. At least you thwarted his plans for tonight.

You fall asleep and the clock chimes only 7 times. So, getting drunk should be one. Talking to Sollux and Eridan must be another. And of course, saving Karkat.

Even if helping Karkat not kill himself wasn't a part of the sequence, you would still do it.

Strange that Karkat holds two points of relevance in your loop sequence. But he's obviously hurting, and pretty deeply. But whatever. Another step toward freedom.

You ponder all of this as you walk towards Karkat's staircase to catch his stuff for the third time in a row.

Your name is Dave Strider and you're finally finding a foot hold in this time bullshit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crazy how so many people like this shit, it's my first fic. And a pretty intensive one too.
> 
> It's not going to be all time based. Once Dave breaks the loop I plan to continue writing a story, branching off into a normal, run of the mill DaveKat fic. It's gonna be about 3 or 4 more chapters of this and then some romance.
> 
> Also, it's obvious how I'm slipping a bunch of rap into the story, but this is the stuff I'm listening to as I write. And it fits my version of Dave, who started following rap as a serious path. Take them as recs. They're good songs.
> 
> Thanks for reading.


	4. Day 6/Small World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You finally have a girlfriend?" You ask, your straw bouncing on your tongue.
> 
> "Yes, Dave, I do. Her name is Kanaya Maryam. We've been dating for six months."

Your name is Dave Strider and, after helping Karkat the night prior, you feel...like you should get to know him more.

Now, that would be easier if this damn time loop wasn't throwing a wrench in your well oiled gears of life. So now you're stuck having to commit to small talk, at least for the mornings. He doesn't know you know he's suicidal. It'd probably be off putting to just suddenly bring it up to him.

You follow him quickly in your car, opting your usual morning music to listen to Scallops Hotel's poplar grove (or how to rap with a hammer). You tend to get in a wispy, almost depressing mood and it's the perfect album to help you move through it's motions.

Now, what would the next point of the sequence be? What would be something you hadn't done the first day that might suggest something?

Well. You had that really awkward conversation with Rose. As soon as she started to analyze you in your introspective state, you shut up all your emotions.

It's a bad habit. One you intend and have attempted for years to get rid of. There's no place for cold emotion in your life now. There are too many people who rely on you to be consistently emotionally void.

Every once and awhile is fine. Usually, you let it slip out with your humor. That's easy waters there, it doesn't matter if you seem emotionless when cracking jokes. And the wall doesn't stay long, you usually break into an easy, genuine smile afterwards when you've successfully made somebody laugh.

You're rambling again.

Well, pulling into the school, you toss the cigarette you forgot you lit out of the window, stepping out of the car and grinding the cherry in the process.

"Hey Dave! How's your morning?"

"Hey John." You greet your best friend for the 5th time in a row. He must've missed you that day you spent helping old ladies.

Oh. Right. Him and Vriska break up. Wow. You realize, you're pretty absent from your friend's life. All of your friend's lives really.

When's the last time you truly hung out with any of them? John started dating Vriska, so a lot of his time was spent with her. Rose usually kept to herself, like you, but for awhile you haven't really even spoken aside from your daily Lunches. And Jade? Well, she's usually busy anyway. Being a young prodigy in STEM, she's always off on some research bend or other.

Maybe you should give John a tip.

"Hey, John?" You say after you ignore his question.

"Yeah, Dave?" He responds, quirking an eyebrow at you.

"Don't call Vriska a bitch." You solely say. He stares at you for a solid moment.

"Okay...anyway!..." Your friend then proceeded to talk about the Ghostbusters reboot, saying how he saw it and thought it help up well against the original, though no where near close to being as good.

You soon part ways and find yourself sitting in Archeology, waving to Aradia.

After you turn away, someone taps your shoulders, and you turn to find it's Aradia who prodded you.

She's just staring at you. Not even her creepy smile is present. It's almost like she's staring into your soul, and it's really freaking you the fuck out.

Then something shows in her eyes, something like revelation, and she snaps her head back up to give you eye contact.

"You're almost there, Dave."

...

...

...

"What?"

"Just keep going." She responds, smile creeping back up her cheeks.

You open your mouth to ask her what the hell she's talking about when the professer enters and interupts your train of thought.

You spend the rest of the period confused as to what she meant. As the bell rings, you turn to ask her, but she's already up and whizzing by your desk and out the door. You clamber up out of your seat to catch her, but by the you step out of the room, the hallway traffic has started up.

Curious.

\----------------------------------------------

"You finally have a girlfriend?" You ask, your straw bouncing on your tongue.

"Yes, Dave, I do. Her name is Kanaya Maryam. We've been dating for six months."

You release the straw from your mouth and put your apple juice down.

"So...that's why you've been so couped up lately?" You ask, gesturing an open palm to her.

She quirks her usual smirk and nods slightly. "Yes, we've spent an exuberant amount of time together. She's quite the lovely lady."

You grunt, taking a bite of your pizza and tossing an arm around the back of your chair. You absently scratch at the stubble forming around your chin.

"Is there anybody you're romantically involved with, Dave?"

You practically feel your eyebrow commence liftoff from your face at her question. "That's quite the sudden personal question there, Miss Lalonde. Or should I say Mrs. Maryam."

Rose snorts and rests her chin on the back of her hand, regarding you in a condescending matter.

"Please, Dave, if we were to be married we would retain our own names. It's already been discussed."

"While you were talking about feminism?"

"Yes."

"Of course it was." You say, slapping your pizza down onto your paper plate.

There's a moment of silence before you realized you didn't answer Rose's question. And she knows you realized it. She's still smirking at you.

You look at her and shrug. You're not really lying when you shrug. There was a couple girls here and there ever since John started dating Vriska, but none of them panned out into anything serious.

The greatest prospect was Terezi, the blind redhead who seemed to really understand your too-cool-for-school-but-have-to-go-because-you-need-a-good-job soul. But she never really seemed serious about you. Almost like you were just a fling or distraction for her.

You stand to toss your lunch into the trash when the door to the pizzarea at your side slams open, probably due to a tumbling Karkat, pizza slipping from his plate.

Your reflexes kick in and you jab your plate under the pizza, narowly saving the slice before it hit the cement face down.

Karkat stands frozen, staring at his slippery pizza layin on your plate and slowly tracks your body up to your face. You smirk at him, clever, grade A strider quip already popping into your head.

"We must stop meeting like this, sir Kat." You say. You immediately know you fucked up though because he squints at you in confusion, mouth slightly agape.

"What did you just call me?" He asks, stranding straight.

"Oh, so you must be Karkat. Kanaya has told me much about you." Rose pipes up behind you, suddenly appearing next to you.

Rose saves your ass yet again.

"And you are?" Karkat switched his attention to the girl beside you.

"Kanaya's romantic partner. She's talked about you often. You have quite the interesting relationship."

"Huh. Well. She's mentioned you here and there."

You shuffle your feet uncomfortably, still holding a plate with a slice of pizza and a half. Karkat looks to you in confusion but quickly realizes his slice on your plate and takes it.

"Okay well...bye." Karkat says incredulously before he departs.

You watch him walk off to the direction of the school, not noticing how Rose is boring a hole into the side of your head.

"How did you know his name well enough to give him a nickname, Dave?"

You slide your plate into the trash can, turning to Rose with your hands in your pockets.

"I met him this morning. He lives in the building across from mine."

Rose hums, tapping her chin with her skeletal index finger. You don't really have time to continue with her psychology sctick, so you just shrug and continue on your way, following Karkat's foot steps.

\----------------------------------------------

You forgo getting drunk this night. You walk up to Sollux and Eridan in their booth as they arrive at the bar and tell them what to order, ignoring their confused looks as you walk through the doors and out into the storm.

You get to the overpass early and notice Karkat's absent from the ledge. You walk under it and count the minutes you would've spent in the bar before leaving. When the time comes, you walk out slightly and see a hooded figure leering over the ledge.

You wait until he steps off the ledge before you stick your arms out and brace them for the weight that's about to come meet your strength.

He connects with your arms and you stumble slightly with the sudden pressure of another man's body, but quickly reorient yourself to compensate.

His face is screwed up in anticipation. His eyes shut tight enough that the muscles around them are tense and definite. His mouth is in a taught frown, and all the while, is soaking wet from the brewing storm around you.

There's too much pain in his face. Almost too much to bear. His expression is the condensed form of suicidal depression mixed with the anticipation of a bone splitting, possibly not even fatal attempt at suicide.

But he's desperate. That much is clear. It must've been a really terrible day for him to pick a spot out of no where and recklessly perform an attempt, not even considering the pain that he would probably feel when he'd come to if he wasn't so lucky in his own right to just die then.

Lighting strikes and the light dances about the hills of skin across his face. His eyes snap open, and flails for a moment, confused as to why he isn't on the ground.

He looks up at you in an instant and looks speechless.

You are too. You're not even sure what type of expression you have with your glasses on.

And in the next moment, you know he can probably see the entirety of your soul. Your glasses, slick from the rain where they rest on your nose, slide off of your face and scatter onto the floor in front of you, obstructed from your view by the body of the man you hold on your arms. Lighting strikes again.

His eyes widen at the sight of the redness of yours. You both stand there for a moment, silent and in the middle of a downpour.

"Why...did you catch me?" He asks, innocently up at you.

You don't answer him right away, searching for an answer besides the fact that you had to, caught off guard by the sudden vulnerability you feel without your glasses.

"I..." You begin.

No. You can't tell him you've been in the same place he is now.

Not yet.

"Well, I-" you stammer quickly. "I saw you standing there and I couldn't let you just...you know...do that." You decide to say, the answer sliding out of your mouth quietly.

He looks away, eyes training the ground.

"Well, you can put me down now."

Oh. Right. Still holding him. You shift your arms upward and gently lower him to a standing position. He brushes himself off before he bends down to pick up your glasses and hands them to you.

You take them from him silently and slide them onto your face, resuming the old comfort of having an obstruction from your overtly emotional eyes.

You both stand quietly, not looking at eachother.

"Well...bye." He says, turning away from you dejectedly.

"Wait!" You call out suddenly, catching yourself by surprise. He turns sideways to look at you.

"What?"

"Do...you want to get a drink?" You settle on.

He raises an eyebrow at you, then closes his eyes and sighs dramatically.

"Fine. Sure. But I'm not going to talk about what just happened."

You mentally pump a fist into the air as you catch up and silently walk towards the bar.

When you enter, he scans the room and lands his gaze at Sollux and Eridan's booth. His face screws up into a scowl.

"What are those two idiots doing here?" He seemingly says to himself.

You pretend not to notice and walk up towards the bar, Karkat eventually following you.

\----------------------------------------------

You stumble out of the bar with Karkat, both deliriously drunk. He's laughing at the joke you just made about the game Catherine, mocking the narrator and the random drink trivia he spouts at you when you're at the bar.

You walk on the edge of falling over, passing playful quips at eachother as you walk towards your apartment complex.

"Why...do you even smoke? It's susha disgustin fuckin hapit?" He slurs, incorrectly pronouncing words and ending his statement in the form of a question.

You whip your head at him, not counting for the sluggishness of your drunken state as your head slumps downward at him.

"I unno, man. Just got addic-" you hiccup momentarily. "Addicted to em at one point. Don't have much a reason to stop."

"Aside from the cancer forming in your breath sacks?"

You flail your head up and down, taking a large drag off of your cigarette and shooting the smoke into a thin stream from your lips.

You eye him in your peripherals, finding him...staring at your lips?

You turn your head towards him and he suddenly twists his head back forward. You bend your torso, effectively leaning over him as you inspect his face, noticing the slightest blush on his cheeks.

You know...he's kind of cute now that you properly look at him. His seemingly permanent scowl is attractive in a frustrated and pouting kid type of way. Not that you're attracted to kids. But he kind of reminds you of one. So small and quick to set off.

He folds his arms and his nostrils flair, still ignoring your face that's been 5 inches from his for a solid minute. You look around you in a daze and notice you're approaching the front of his apartment building's stair case.

You absently flash step in front of him, startling him. He takes a step back, mumbling a curse under his breath.

You stare at him for a solid moment, not sure as to why you're doing this. A tense moment brews before you snap out of it.

"WELL. BYE." You practically scream as you turn on your heal, ignoring Karkats bemused expression.

You slam into your bed, not even bothering to take your clothes off. You don't really need to.

The clock chimes twice.

You awake, excited that you're so nearly close to breaking the loop.

Today may finally be the last day you're stuck doing this shit.

But another thought breaks into your mind and finally some things click into place. You sigh at your previous ignorance in your phone call to John those few days ago. You really do have someone to romance.

Your name is Dave Strider and you realize you have a crush on your neighbor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not dead. I have been busy for awhile, though I predict updates will be slow for a minute.
> 
> I asked myself, am I developing Dave and Karkat's relationship too fast? But then I remembered I have a plan for that.
> 
> In anycase, the next chapter should be the last.
> 
> Sorry for the wait.
> 
> Thanks for reading.


	5. Day 7/Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It..." Karkat trailed off, searching for something that might help him explain himself to you.
> 
> You give him a minute, taking a small, chaste sip of your Apple Cider.
> 
> "It wasn't good. Living there. So. I moved here. But it hasn't really been working to help."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't think I would be doing this, but the detail gets a little much in this chapter.
> 
> TW: Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Rape

"Okay."

"So."

"It's gotta be about Karkat, right?"

Your name is Dave Strider and you're rambling to yourself in your car on your way to school.

"I mean, how could it not? He takes up almost the entirety of my day. I went from not speaking a word to him to...what? Developing feelings for him? Obviously this is some mad play by Rose's eternal elder gods. They could just come to me in a dream and say, 'Hey Dave' they say. And then I would say 'Sup Elder dudes?'. And they would be all like 'So there's this fuckin cutie that lives across from you now and is in your Pre-Calc class, and if you don't like, talk to him today and try to get with him, the fabric of space and time will rip a new asshole in itself.' 'Well shit Elder bros, I'll get right fuckin on that. I have to admit, he is pretty goddamn fine. I mean, those skinny jeans, OH BOY, does he pull them shits off. And that long sweater that's so big it looks like it could blanket all of Texas? Shit, my Elder friends, how'd you know what my fetish is?'. But no. No, they fuckin put me in this damn Bill Murray bullshit because I obviously haven't been through enough shit."

Okay. Maybe you're not rambling, but instead having the slightest of breakdowns. You get out of the car and slam the door, realizing how pissed you really are. John approaches you cautiously.

"Hey, Dave...you alright?"

You look at him and then lower your head. Deep breaths. In. And out. In. Out.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Also, don't call Vriska a bitch."

You're really getting sick and tired of this dumb confusion on every bodies faces. You really fuckin hope that this is it, that this is finally the day you get it all right.

In all honesty, you just wanna see Karkat again.

\----------------------------------------------

Eridan, Sollux, leave the bar, yeah, yeah. You speed walk to the bridge to get there as early as possible. You want to get this day over with already.

But...over the course of this particular run through the day, you realized you really do have feelings for the short angry man. He might have noticed your lingering stares if it weren't for your shades obscuring the trajectory of your vision.

You arrive under the bridge. Wait. You step out and catch him, this time your feet staying perfectly planted as he lands in your arms.

You take another look at that face that struck you last night and feel a warm tide of pity wash over you. This time, you quickly slide him to a standing position.

He jolts and looks around his current position. You stuff your hands in your pockets and wait for him to say something. You decide you'll play the passive role here. It should be smooth sailing from here on out.

"Why did you save me?" He asks, confused and angry. But the look of regret is still plastered on his face. It's a common one after a suicide attempt. You never truly realize how much you don't want to kill yourself until you do attempt and fail. And then you forget that and try and try again. It's a painful cycle.

One you know too well.

"Come have a drink with me. I'll tell you." You say as you walk up to him. Keeping about 5 feet from him to offer closeness yet still keeping a comfortable distance. And yet, you get the feeling that's not enough because he shirks into himself and stands back. You pull your hands out of your pockets and raise them in surrender.

"Just a drink. That's all. It looks like you need one." You say. And you're not wrong. The bags under his eyes are heavy and almost dwarf the dark brown that surrounds his pupils.

His face screws up and his brow furrows. He seems to be contemplating your offer. You know he's going to accept but to get the ball rolling you sweeten the deal.

"My treat."

He seems to light up slightly at the prospect. He sighs nonetheless, looking up at the clouds above you.

"Fine. Can't turn down free booze."

You smirk and nod, walking past him in the direction of the bar.

Again, he pauses to look at Sollux and Eridan but you ignore this and walk up to the bar and order your drink of choice, Apple Cider. Karkat takes the seat next to you and orders a Cranberry Vodka.

Silence. You consciously take a sip from your cider before breaking it.

"I saved you because I once tried to kill myself." Karkat snaps his head up to you at your sudden confession, but you continue. "Tried to slice open my veins. I woke up in the hospital after passing out from blood loss. Turns out it was my Bro that saved me. But of course, he wasn't there. The nurses and Doctor didn't even know I had a Bro He must've dropped me off in front of the lobby like he had done in the past. I spent a couple weeks in the psych ward as they unraveled my issues and stuffed me full of anti-depressants. I came back home and immediately, Bro threw my sword at me and jutted his thumb up at the roof. Yet, that was exactly why I tried to kill myself. It was him. I never knew my fuckin parents, I never even knew if we were actually brothers. There was no pictures. No home movies. There was no food in the fridge, no home cooked meals, nothing. No brotherly hugs or wisdoms. Just swords and Texas heat. And smuppets. There was nothing else to my existence for a long time until I met Rose on the Internet and found out she was my cousin or second cousin or whatever the fuck, somehow related because her mom and my Bro are brother and sister. Then I met John and Jade. They made everything more bearable, but they didn't know how depressed I became when I hit 15 years old. I attempted suicide at 18. I had enough of Bro, enough of living in general. It was obvious he fucked me up beyond belief. I didn't even know what nutrition tasted like, all I ate was Doritos and Ramen and drank Apple Juice. I didn't know what it was really like to feel healthy until I moved in with Rose and she started to make me proper food. It didn't stop there of course, no. I still get the urge to cut. Still get into huge depressive fits where I can't think of anything else but killing myself."

You stop there, noticing your shortness of breath and how white your knuckles have turned as you grip the bottle. You don't dare to look at Karkat, but you can feel his gaze boring into the side of your face. You take a deep breath and take a slow gulp from your cider before continuing.

"But I don't. I never can again. I have too many people that I would fuck up if I up and killed myself."

You then decide to glance at Karkat. His face is drenched with concern and rapt attention. It's a moment before he speaks.

"Why are you telling me all of this?" He asks, his voice small and innocent, void of any of the anger he seemed to be full of all the time.

You chuckle bitterly. "I grew up wearing these shades. I don't wear them just because I look good in them. They also form as the base for the walls I build around my emotions. Another thing Bro raised me to do that ended up just leaving my emotions stunted anyway. But for the past couple years, my therapist has told me I might be able to heal myself more if I let the walls down every now and then. So. I'm telling you my entire sob story. Not only because it's the reason I saved you, but because it's a good cathartic process. Helps me put more band aids on the past." You say, taking one last swig of your cider before slamming it back down and tapping the bar. The tender walks over and pops you open another. You take a sip from the new one.

Karkat looks down into the glass he holds cupped between his hands. He downs the rest in one large gulp and then orders another.

You both grow into a comfortable silence, the drinkers around you filling the room with their vocal ambience. The tenders clinking glasses together as they arrange drinks and orders. Strangely enough, this is a smoking bar in Seatlle. So after your throat choaking trip down memory lane, you pull out a cigarette and light up. The stress that has traveled up your back slowly starts to dissipate as the nicotine travels through your system.

"So..." Karkat begins. You turn your head to him, cigarette balanced percariously between your lips. "You lived in Texas?"

You nod your head, taking the cigarette out of your mouth. "Rose was going to the college here and offered to be my roommate. I thought 'Why the fuck not? I need to get far away from Bro, and Seattle seems pretty far enough. I opted out of enrolling at first, but after a year I realized I probably should and started."

Karkat nods, absorbing the information.  
You realize this is probably your in to learning as to why Karkat had attempted to kill himself.

"Where did you live before here? Or were you born here?" You question, taking a short drag between the two questions.

Karkat stares deep into his drink before answering.

"I grew up in New Jersey."

You mentally snort but you've found making fun of Jersey natives leads to a lot of quick anger, so you don't bother making your usual jokes. You're on a mission here.

"It..." Karkat trailed off, searching for something that might help him explain himself to you.

You give him a minute, taking a small, chaste sip of your Apple Cider.

"It wasn't good. Living there. So...I moved here. But it hasn't really been working to help."

He takes a deep breath and downs the rest of his drink before ordering another. He must be feeling it by now.

"I lived with my brother, Kankri, and my father. I was already stuck in a self-deprecating mind state, stuck with self-image issues and whatever the fuck. I had depression from an early age, clinically diagnosed. I used to cut a lot. Still do actually. Wrists, legs, anywhere that I could get a fresh tear and feel the release. Didn't help being the only bisexual male at my school. Of course, there was lesbians and bisexual girls, but that was hot to the full heterosexual population. While they would give the girls cat calls and jerk themselves off to the girls kissing in the hallways, I was called, you know, faggot. Twink. I was told I was going to hell a lot. Got beat up sometimes." He pauses to take a large gulp from his drink before continuing.

"And then, in highschool, Kankri started dating this guy called Cronus. He's the brother of the piece of shit back there." Karkat thumbed behind him towards Eridan and Sollux. You're going to guess he means Eridan.

"He wasn't...he..." He struggled to get what he meant to say out. He sighed, looked to the right, then to you on his left. His eyes trailed to your pack of cigarettes and his hand darts for it. You let him take it and take one out. He sticks it into his mouth, and you can't help but smirk and snort. He looks like a little kid finding a stray butt on the ground and not knowing how to properly hold it in his mouth. He blushes and furrows his brow at you, making grabby hands for your lighter. You instead opt to bring your cigarette to his, and he jumps at the closeness of a burning cherry. But you slowly approach his to show that you're simply applying the cherry to the end of his. He catches on and inhales to catch it. He takes a long drag and swings back around towards the bar, ripping it from his lips and holding it in two outstretched fingers with his hand limp backwards.

Smokes like a girl, you think. Cute.

You let him have his silence, he was generous enough to give you yours so you'll extend the respect. You gulp down the rest of your cider and it's quickly replaced with another. Jesus, two beers in and another on the way. You're looking to get drunk again.

"He raped me." Karkat suddenly says as you're in mid sip. You barely resist doing a spit take, instead settling on choking on your drink and coughing. Karkat starts to slap your back to help you out.

"Jesus. Sorry. Just...caught me off guard there." You say, ashing your cigarette and forcing the remaining liquid from your throat.

"Yeah. He caught me off guard too." He says sadly.

"Shit. Sorry." You apologize for your poor choice of words. He shakes his head.

"It's fine."

You hum deeply, showing your disagreement with how fine it is but you let it slide.

"It was a Friday," he continues after taking a hard drag from the cancer stick. "I came home from school. Kankri was out shopping or some shit, and Cronus was there. He always lounged around the house like he fucking owned it or some shit. I walked through the door and there he was, sprawled out on our shitty fuckin living room couch, giving me this nasty look. This wasn't the first time he gave me that look or even made advancements towards me. Kankri's celibate for some fuckin reason or other and Cronus wasn't getting any. So he decided to take all of his disgusting fuckin frustration out on me. I asked him 'What the fuck are you looking at, you shit mongering, John Travolta wanna be?'. He sat up right and said 'You, baby.'." Karkat cringed as he recalled the memory. Now it was your turn to bore your vision into his face, trying to read his eyes.

All you see is pain. And hate.

"I insulted him with some inane comment and stormed up to my room. I didn't know he was following me, but as I threw my bag on to my bed, the door closed behind me and he was there, locking the door." He paused and took a drink and drag from his cigarette. The stray ashes whisked off and cascaded down onto the bar under his arm.

"He talked about how Kankri wasn't putting out, and how 'Damn cute' I was. He approached me and I just froze. I knew what he was going to try to do. He gripped my chin hard, and I tried to get away but..."

He trails off, zoning out into space. You're not quite sure what to do. You don't think you should touch him when he's like this so you decide to just speak.

"It's alright." You call out to him, your full attention devoted to him, turned half way to face him. He snaps out of his trance and looks at you with his mouth open.

"You don't have to tell me everything. I know, there's no point in continuing."

He turns his head back to stare at the bottles on the shelf in front of him before gulping down the rest of his vodka. Another one takes it's place shortly.

"Anyway. Kankri came home and saw everything. He fucking lost his shit and chased Cronus out of the house. I couldn't help but bawl my eyes out. He took me to the hospital, but at that point, the damage was done. I retreated into myself and didn't speak for days as the doctors tried to get me to talk. Eventually, I broke out of it and my life slowed to a snails pace. Everything felt like a dream, and the meds didn't help. My prescription was imperfect at first, and I attempted suicide by overdose. It didn't work obviously, the nurses found me before I could black out and made me puke out the pills. I spent another three weeks in that damn place. But I eventually stabilized and left."

Another sip.

"I went home. Nothing was the same. I tried but nothing felt right. My room was filled with too many memories. In a year, my dad moved us out here, Kankri wanting to go to college here and my dad landing a new position for his job. We all felt it was for the best. It never really got better. I made some friends but only two of them know. Actually, I liked one of them so much that I tried to finally brake out of my issues and pursue a relationship with her but...it didn't pan out. Eventually, I graduated. I also spent some time away from college because I didn't feel ready mentally to do that after Terezi-"

You choke on your drink for the second time that night. Karkat comes out of his monologue to slap your back again.

"Jesus Christ, keep your fucking liquor down." He chastises you.

You nod, not bothering to mention that you dated her briefly at one point. That's for another time.

"Anyway," he begins again, eyeing you in annoyance before resuming. "Today was my first day. Over the summer I moved out and got my own place. I got tired of Kankri and my father treating me like I'm fragile. But...well, I guess I really am fragile. Because nothing went right today. Actually, absolutely everything went to shit. My mood got worse and worse, and the breaking point was when my car broke down and I had to walk home in the rain. Then, when I did get home, Terezi started texting me and...I just couldn't handle it. Went out to that over pass and...well, now here we are."

Karkat finished his story, chugging his drink and slamming it down like you had done.

You turn to yours and do the same. It's safe to say you're bordering on drunk from tipsy. Silence comes over you again. Not awkward or comfortable but almost neccesary. You're still processing all the information he had just dumped on you, and you're still not sure what to do.

So you opt for the cliché.

"Sorry. That all that happened to you." You offer.

Karkat snorts and brings the cigarette up to his mouth. He speaks over the butt.

"Don't. I fucking hate that shit. You didn't do it so you can shut your mouth." He refuses your apology, smoke floating out of his mouth.

"Well...sorry for saying sorry then."

Karkat nods and the silence comes back.

You struggle for something to say so you end up saying the first thing that comes to mind.

"You ever watch Groundhogs Day?"

\----------------------------------------------

You're back on the trail to your apartment complex, back to being drunk off your ass and laughing about how stupid the premise of Groundhogs Day is.

"And the Groundhog...he looked so fuckin BAD." Karkat yells, laughter dancing in his voice.

You chuckle. "And all that editing. Must've fuckin killed the editors to stitch all that repetitive bullshit together, 'Wait, shit, this one scene was from two days ago in the plot, where's the correct one? Fuck. It's all the fucking same shit.'"

You both laugh as you enter the complex and reach the stair case to Karkat's apartment.

He looks up at you and pushes his smile down, briefly blushing.

"So...thanks. For saving me. And all the free booze. And telling me about your past. You didn't have to do that. I know well that bringing up the past isn't fun."

You shake your head. "Nah. It was fine. I just wanted to get across that I knew where you were coming from, with the attempt and all. I'm no stranger to the concept or action."

He nods, brushing the unruly curly mess of hair out of his eyes. He's looking up towards the moon with his mouth agape and in a daze. You can't help but stare at him and his lips.

That's not a good thought, Dave. You shouldn't do this.

But you're too drunk, and you find yourself tensing up your entire body.

You quickly lean down and connect your lips with his. He seems to be shocked and isn't kissing back, and once you realize this your eyes shoot open and you flash step back from him.

"SHIT, SHIT, I'm so sorry, Karkat!" You yell, not noticing that your shades fell off again.

And like before, Karkat is staring deep into them, noticing the complete and utter look of regret and apology and concern.

"I-I-" you stutter as you flail, looking for your shades. You find them and bend down to pick them up, avoiding eye contact. You don't bother putting them on, instead clutching them in your right hand. Your rub your face with your left, sighing.

"I'm so sorry." You say before turning away and hurrying towards your apartment.

As soon as you get in and slam the door, you're slamming your shitty kicthen counters with your shitty hands because you're such a piece of shit.

You are a gigantic pile of shit.

"I can't fucking believe I fucking did that AFTER HE TOLD ME HE WAS RAPED." You scream out into the empty apartment. Below you, someone is banging their ceiling, and you take that as your cue to stop and calm yourself. You bury your head in your hands, guilt washing over in cold spikes.

You collapse onto the floor and can't bring yourself to move to the bed. You feel like you weigh a ton and soon, black encompasses your vision.

\----------------------------------------------

You wake up. Not bothering to move. The thought of you kissing Karkat never left your mind. You lay there for what seems like hours. You decide it's time to get up and start the sequence again.

You open your eyes and...this isn't your bedroom.

This is your kitchen.

You bolt upright and run to the bedroom to find the dead bird collected from yesterday preserved in a jar and sitting on the shelf across from your bed

You run your hand through your hair, breaking into a laughing fit.

"I did it. I fucking did it. I broke the fucking loop!" 

You begin to whoop with laughter, completely elated.

And then it all comes crashing down when you hear a door slam from outside. You look to the window and see Karkat, walking down the steps. He doesn't trip. He has a firm grip on all of his stuff. He walks out of view on his way to school, and his car isn't in the parking lot.

Your name is Dave Strider and you realize you royally fucked up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's done.
> 
> I finished this stupid thing. I don't know why I decided to make some concvoluted set up to a normal DaveKat fic instead of just doing a normal DaveKat fic, but you all seemed to like it anyway so whatever.
> 
> Also, I know there's no smoking bars in Seattle but whatever. It's humanstuck, sans-sburb/sgrub. It's an AU, so whatever.
> 
> Also, thanks to that guy in the comments on chapter three for defending my bullshit physics. You're cool.
> 
> Thanks to everybody that commented at all though. I know how ridiculously hard it is to get comments and kudos and you guys have been damn generous so thank you for being upstanding readers.
> 
> So yeah. That's it for now. I might continue this version of Dave and Karkat, maybe not. I just wanna make dumb fluff and angst and whatnot.
> 
> If you guys want I will. But for now, this thing is done.
> 
> Thanks for putting up with my lack of proofreading.
> 
> Thanks for reading.


	6. Part 2 Is Out

Ay.

For all y'all book markers of this story.

Part two is out.

Go check.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. This is my first Homestuck fic and I hope it's not completely garbage. Hope you enjoyed it and stick around.
> 
> Also hope you don't hate my decisions for how I plan to develop Dave. He's in college and I decided to mature his identity slightly.
> 
> Thanks for reading.


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